Month: June 2015

Anti and ungil

Titil, I clarifying for those not in know, being corruptition of aunty and uncle. This how being that Tamilians pronouncing those words. As you seeing, sounds emerging from their mouths having no relation to actual relatives’ names. If you immediately understanding the titil and finding explanation superflus, then you Tamilian only. Subject of this peece being how these indigenius peoples adaptating foreign tongue and speaking it not like Peter and Paul (I again giving another clarification: Peter and Paul referring to genric white anglo Sacksons, (or is that being Jacksons?), and not particular persons) but like peatru and Pall. And Same-su (James), Dei Vittu (David) and omelet (Hamlet). The last is good egg sample of how they mangling Queen’s English.  But holden there, hold your arses, wait a nimit for five nimits (this last being Tamilanglicism). Why Tamilians should speak English like Englishmen? Not at all needed. The latter coming here from small island and impositioning their upstart dialect (which being monstrous corruptition of Sanskrit to begin with) on ancient and evolved culture. So it only right we twisting their tongue to our taste. Anyway, have you heard English peoples mouthing Tamil (Taa-mil)? It…It…what is mot juste? (Which is being French, which being more cultural than English.) Yes, I getting it! Risible. Risible, that what it is. I giving egg sample from movies: Kappalottia Tamizhan, in which Chevalier Sivaji staring wildly as collector dorai murdering Tamil language, prior to getting down to murdering Tamilians. Of course, dorai here being played by our own S V Ranga Rao, who acting as white man by wearing blonde wig and oodles of Pair and Luvly (Fair and Lovely), though I not sure if Fair and Lovely available those days.

So I here down below giving guide to Tamilanglam pro-none-see-yeshun with aid of few egg samples. Before I doing that, I studying dictionary to find out how they showing how to pronounce words. I seeing they using something they calling dia-critical signs. I going to omit them, because I not knowing how to make them pratyaksham in blog post.

Pust rule: all English words ending with consonant becoming automatically Tamilanglam if ‘u’ sound (like ‘u’ in ‘kasu’) being added to end of word. Egg sample: puttu (put), scenu (scene), bonu (bone), dogu (dog), minu (mine), yoursu (yours).

Secondu rulu: Bowel sounds always loose only. A,e, i,o and u being interchangeable and elongatable and transformatable and ommitable and vomitable. Egg sample: World being pro-none-see-yated as Whareld (that last e being not like e in red but like e in calmed), yeskissme (excuse me; this pamously being said by superstar in one filim. (By the bye, he also saying underwear in one filim when he clearly actually meaning understand. I not understanding why, but I not questioning superstar. He only writing Oxford dictionary. At same time, he writing Webster with left hand. And Collins with right foot. Left foot he keeping free for scratching head)).

Thirdu rulu: Wherever there being ‘f’ sound, it freely being changed to ‘p’ sound. Egg sample: pustu (this already occurring before only in this guide).

Parthu rulu: Whenever there occurring in word ‘X’ sound, it being replaced by ‘gg’ sound. Egg sample: egg sample.

Pipth rulu: When there being ‘l’ and ‘m’ togedher, then ‘i’ insininuating itself betwixt them. Egg sample: filim (film). Sometimes this being pro-none-see-yated as pilim (see therdu rulu).

Chixthu rulu: ‘S’ sound to be ockasionally changed to ‘ch’ sound. Egg sample of rulu already self evident in numbering of rulu.

Savnthu rulu: If word beginning with ‘o’, it is wokay to add ‘w’ sound before ‘o’. Egg sample: wonly (only)

Eytthu rulu: All above rulus for odunary parsons wonly, not applicapable to won and wonly TR. He not talking English, he rolling it into joint and smoking it.

Democrazy

Other day I thinking very deeply, even though this making me look constipated. I perserving, because I thinking about vital issue, viz, democrazy. Before we proceeding further, I wanting to state I very well aware of pspelling mistake in title, please to be not jumping. It deliberrate. Why? Because Americans changing all sa sounds to za. America, as everybody knowing, is world champion of democracy, so I changing c to z. It only fitting.

Before I coming to present day democrazy, I wishing to find out about its ancient origins. That it ancient   is confirmed because pakathu veetu mama, who I consulting, knowing all about it. Not only he himself being ancient, he also knowing only about things before 1900 (I not sure if it BC or AD). He considering everything after that is result of ‘kali muthifying’ and not worth knowing.

Mama telling me that democrazy coming in crates from Hellen, who very beautiful and launched thousand ships, possibly to transport crates. It all a little hazy now, I thinking mama having amnesia and it contiguous disease. He forgetting computer password and also forgetting where he putting notebook in which he putting password. So he not even being able to consult Wikipedia. I reading somewhere that 70 percent of data in Wikidpedia is bunkum, so this may be good thing.

All this bye the bye, let us be coming to democrazy. In modern times, Indians taking ancient Greek invention and developing it into fine art. Today, India being world’s democraziest place, because peoples here having at least two votes each and biryani, TV, sarayam, grinder, sari, dhoti for each vote.  On top of all this they also taken for ride by polliticians to polling booth.

This actually very admirable arrangement. First polliticians bribing peoples for votes, and thereafter peoples bribing polliticians for everything else. But our democrazy system, it giving peoples choice also. In addition to veg or chicken biryani, peoples choosing between three parties. First party having convicted criminals, second having successful criminals (because they doing crime and nobody knowing) and third party being rave party. People generally not choosing third option because it amoral and demeaning ancient culture of our country.

Once politicians being chosen by peoples, they going to lower house and breaking laws. Sometimes they also breaking bones. Someone once telling me that they actually making laws, not breaking them, but I telling that someone sharply to check his facts. There also being upper house, but election to this house shrouded in mystery and I not knowing about it. I not going to ask mama again because he is sleeping. Bye the bye, lower house being called bloody Lok Sabha and upper house being called what the…Rajya Sabha.

Elected polliticians are public servants, so they obligigated to entertain people with freestyle fighting, mega scams and cut outs. This established custom which is coming from TV channels, where also people voting for best singers, dancers and buffoons. This another egg sample of democrazy undergoing innovationing in India.

All this happening in rotation system, so all elected polliticians kicked out after five years. But they making enough money for five generations in five years, so that is perfectly ok.  That about it, I suppose. Anyway, I running out of things to say and it bed time. Bye.

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